Title: If You Only Knew
Rating: PG-13 for swearing, future violence, and possible future sexual innuendo
Genre: Mystery/Suspense, Romance
Summary: Donghae finds Anya on the streets of Seoul leading a poor life. After confronting her he finds out she was attacked after she left the first time and lost her memory. He secretly takes her in with Super Junior M's help to take care of her until they can find out what happened to her. Unfortunatly, the one who attacked Anya is still out there, and will not let her get away so easily this time.
Donghae breathed in the smoggy air of Seoul and sighed in content. The air wasn’t as nostalgic or clean as his hometown of Mokpo but it was his current home. China was fun and he enjoyed Hangeng’s home country but he missed Korea. So when SM had allowed them a short reprieve (they didn’t dare call it as hopeful of a word as ‘vacation’) the boys of Super Junior M had taken the chance with much enthusiasm.
Hangeng and Zhoumi wanted to visit family in China, but unfortunately that was not an option the company had provided for them. Preferring that the group stay together, and that the majority of the group was from Korea, it automatically determined where everyone had to go. Henry had quietly sulked the whole way.
Donghae had felt horrible for Henry, as Canada hadn’t even been brought into consideration. It was too far, and the poor boy had not seen his family face to face for two years. It was then that Donghae felt ashamed of his own behavior when he missed his family and complained to Henry about it. Henry would nod and listen patiently then soothe Donghae with a surprising amount of gentleness.
It usually wouldn’t be until later that Donghae would realize his mistake as he would find Henry locked in the bathroom crying.
This all brought Donghae’s memories to two years ago and to two other foreigners that Donghae had gotten to know.
He sighed as he walked the streets at night, just taking everything in. He had to say he had missed Anya and Eva. Eva had stayed in Korea and the boys saw her every now and then, but Anya had completely disappeared. The last Donghae had heard from her was her parting message to them on the episode 14 recap of the show they were on.
Donghae had been brought close to tears.
Giving another heavy sigh, Donghae approached an outside clothes boutique to browse through. As he was looking at the rows of clothes, he saw a curly mass of light brown hair that had grown long and almost unkempt.
She was looking through the sales rack with a thin, pale hand, scanning the low prices with practice. At the turn of her head, familiar deep green eyes Donghae had always identified with a crocodiles made themselves clear to him.
“Anya!” he called in surprise.
Anya snapped her head in his direction and her eyes widened in shock. She stopped what she was doing and made a mad dash for the street. Donghae did not know what possessed him but he immediately ran after her. Their chase lasted for almost ten minutes through streets and alleys until he had finally cornered her in an alley next to a dumpster.
The chill of the night air still reached them, and it was then he noticed Anya shiver. She was only wearing worn jeans, scuffed tennis shoes, and an old long sleeve sweatshirt with a hole on the side.
“Anya…” Donghae began, but then Anya opened her mouth to let out a scream.
In a state of panic and confusion Donghae rushed to her side and covered her mouth and quickly tried to soothe her.
“Anya, it’s me, Donghae. Remember, from the home stay?”
Anya seemed to calm down as she breathed in and out, her breath becoming slower and steadier. Donghae then uncovered her mouth but blocked her path.
“You see, remember me now?” Donghae asked, smiling.
Donghae’s smile quickly fell from his face when Anya responded.
“That’s the problem,” she said, her Korean much more profound then since he last saw her. “I don’t.”
Donghae was now truly puzzled. Anya knew who he was but at the same time she didn’t remember who he was. She led him to the slum part of the city and took him a small rented apartment. The walls were peeling and the inside was cold and bare with a small kitchen, one bedroom and bathroom with a futon. A small living room with one tiny TV was present and a set of video cassettes next to the VCR.
“Come here,” she said, going to the VCR and putting one of the cassettes in.
Donghae approached and peered at the small TV screen. There appeared a recording of ‘Super Junior Full House’, showing Anya, Eva, Donghae and the rest of the Super Junior members who had sheltered the two for three months.
“I know I used to know you,” Anya said, looking at Donghae as his eyes were glued to the screen. “But I don’t remember you, or any of them.”
Donghae fixed his gaze on Anya, his eyes wide.
“What about Eva? Your family in Russia?” he asked.
Anya shook her head, her face forlorn.
“I remember waking up in a stranger’s house. The woman, Choi Minyoung, said I had been attacked and everything but the clothes on me had been stolen. I have amnesia, she tried to help me recover my memory by giving me these tapes but none have helped.”
Donghae’s mind was now in a whirlwind, trying to process all this information. For the past two years Anya, the girl they had sworn to take care of while she was in Korea, had been suffering like this for so long. She had no family or friends, because she simply could not remember them. She only had the videos of proof to anything from her former identity.
“Why didn’t you try to find us or Eva? We would have helped you.” Donghae assured her, coming closer to her.
Anya stared at him, her eyes skeptical.
“If we were friends as this video suggests,” she reasoned. “A real friend wouldn’t trouble the people she cares about with her own problems. It’s my fault I got into this, I must fix it myself.”
“That’s bull shit!” Donghae exclaimed.
Anya flinched from his outburst, scooting away from him. He paid her no heed, getting closer and grabbing her forearms with great force. Anya looked scared but Donghae pressed on.
“We would have helped you without any problem. We did care about you, that can’t be faked on TV. And I’m no actor,” Donghae looked around at the shabby apartment. “What have you been doing?”
“Minyoung gave me a job at a pre-school on the other side of the city, near Sandong.” Anya replied, her green eyes almost frightened by Donghae’s frantic behavior.
Donghae immediately took action. He let go of her and began scouring the apartment. Finding a duffle bag in the corner of her room, he tossed in the few belongings she possessed. A few pairs of clothes, a lone stuffed pig, hairbrush, toothbrush, and to Anya’s dismay her undergarments as well.
“What are you doing?” she cried.
Donghae did not reply immediately, but instead continued his mad search. When he was done, and further angered by her lack of possessions, he grabbed her by the hand, her belongings in the other and dragged her out of the apartment.
“You are coming with me,” Donghae growled. “We’ll alert the landlord later, but I’m not letting you live here like this.”
Anya did her best to protest and she struggled and wriggled to be released. Unfortunately for her Donghae was to strong for her and she found herself being dragged across the city to the familiar dorms of the apartments of Super Junior.
She had tried everything to convince Donghae to let her go, until she had begged him to let her be. None had worked, and she could have sworn Donghae simply became more determined the more she begged.
In a last ditch effort to get him to release her as they approached the apartment door she through the last thing she could think of, knowing it was an incorrect statement.
“They won’t want me here. They’ll see me as a burden.” She spat, trying to sound as venomous as possible.
Donghae directed his dark gaze on her, his eyes sharp and dangerous.
“You know that’s not true, even if you don’t remember.” He said.
With that he took out his keys and unlocked the apartment door. Artificial light shone on the two and warmth from the heater enveloped them as they stepped in. Donghae really dragging Anya through the entryway.
“Donghae! There you are, I wondering when you were getting home!”
Hangeng came into view, waving a wooden spoon in his hands.
“I was making dinner… Anya!” Hangeng cried once he caught sight of her.
He dropped his spoon and sped to her side, his eyes wide in wonder and confusion.
“What are you doing here?”
Anya, unsure of what to do, tentatively hid behind Donghae’s frame. Hangeng looked hurt as Anya tried her best to shy away from him.
“Anya, what’s wrong?” Hangeng asked softly.
Donghae spoke softly to Anya, so softly Hangeng could not hear. After a reassuring look from Donghae, she moved out from behind Donghae but did not dare move from his side.
Donghae looked at Hangeng sadly, and the older man became afraid.
“Donghae, what’s going on?” he asked.
“She doesn’t remember us, Hyung.”
Hangeng had gathered the rest of Super Junior M into the living room, telling them the matter was urgent. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook recognized Anya, but said nothing as they had never gotten close to her. Upon seeing her, Siwon had instantly rushed to her side, fretting over her pale and thin appearance. Henry and Zhoumi found her familiar, as both had watched the show before but did not approach her closely.
Anya did not wander far from Donghae, once so eager to escape him now not willing to leave his side. They sat themselves on the couch and Siwon sat on the other side of her, quickly assuming his role from years ago as her bodyguard. Hangeng sat in front of her while the others were scattered throughout the room.
Donghae then quickly recounted the recent events of the last few hours. He prompted Anya to tell her story again, and she did with the utmost trepidation. She had been through much change since they had last seen her. No laughter was in her eyes, and her lively personality was gone.
Her curly hair was limp and her once vivid green eyes were dull. Frankly it scared the occupants of the room.
By the end of the story, Ryeowook had been moved to tears, and Siwon and Hangeng looked helpless and disappointed in themselves.
Siwon tentatively put an arm around Anya. She flinched but did not draw away.
“I was supposed to protect you,” he whispered, inclining his head towards hers, tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Anya knew she should be crying, but her emotions could not recall the familiarity with this man to be moved by his tears. So she just closed her eyes and let him embrace her.
Siwon had lead Anya to his and Hangeng’s room with her possessions. After putting her too bed he rejoined everyone else in the room with his face set in determination. Donghae then knew that he had one person on his side for the proposal he was about to suggest.
“We can’t let her go on like this,” Ryeowook piped up, having been touched by Anya’s story and also feeling a sense of responsibility himself. “It’s just too sad.”
“Then what do we do?” Henry asked.
There was a heavy silence, and then Donghae decided to speak.
“Let’s keep her with us.” He said.
All eyes in the room were on him. Some seemed to understand his sentiments, others were skeptical.
“The company would never allow it.” Zhoumi pointed out.
“Then we don’t tell them,” Donghae said. “We hide her from the company, our manager, everybody!”
Hangeng looked uncomfortable.
“I understand that, but I’ve already informed Kangin, Heechul, and Kibum since they were with us too. They’re actually coming over once they’re free.” Hangeng said uneasily.
Donghae shrugged it off. “Then we make them keep the secret too! Listen, if we pay for her expenses ourselves on the same flights with us and hotel rooms next to us we can keep her with us at all times until we really figure out what happened to her and she gets her memory back so she can go home.” Donghae explained.
A look around the room and Donghae analyzed the situation. He knew he had Hangeng and Siwon on his side since both cared about Anya and felt hugely responsible for their misfortune. Ryeowook was quickly being won over, and Donghae saw something in Henry’s eyes that made him think the boy felt a kinship with the young woman in the other room.
Zhoumi and Kyuhyun still looked unsure though, and both were the level headed of the group, and also the best orators. If they so wished, they could turn this situation around in their favor with their logic.
“Hyung, this is dangerous. We could be caught up in a scandal,” Kyuhyun reasoned. “Why should we protect her?”
Donghae looked into the young man’s eyes, and answered with a confidence that suddenly filled him at the thought of the girl in the other room.
“We were supposed to protect her before, and look what happened,” he said, his voice rising with emotion. “It’s only fair that we protect her now.”
With that piece of emotional logic, Donghae won the support of Kyuhyun and Zhoumi.
Donghae tiptoed within the dark room and sat on the side of the occupied bed. She looked peaceful for the first time that day, her eyes closed and her pale face relaxed. Donghae couldn’t help but trace a long finger down a gaunt cheek. She was truly too thin for his liking.
After another moment Donghae got up and approached the door so he could wait for the worried guests he knew would come soon. A voice from the bed soon stopped him in his tracks.
“You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
Donghae turned around and grinned at the darkness and replied softly,
“I usually don’t.”